Canadians concerned country’s children are too soft, with no coping skills: survey

A Scouts Canada survey found that most Canadians are concerned that children aged 10 to 21 are too soft and have not been taught appropriate coping skills to navigate their future.

The survey, which included 1,000 Canadians, uncovered that social media channels, screens and lack of development, social/peer pressure, video games and helicopter parenting are the biggest dangers to kids today.

Just over a third of those surveyed are not confident that the kids aged 10 to 21 will be able to get jobs in the future and grow into successful adults.

When it comes to different generations, almost 75 per cent of those surveyed said parents in Gen X (1965-1976), Millennial (1977-1995) and Generation Z (1996-2010) have been “too soft” on their children.

Canadians say the top skills kids aged 10 to 21 do not have are stress coping skills, basic etiquette problem solving and the ability to say thank you.

Almost 100 per cent of those polled said kids have had a disadvantage growing up during COVID.

Dr. Ashley Miller, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of British Columbia, told Global News that it is very difficult to be a parent these days.

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“That’s not necessarily because of parenting style, but because of overall stress in society and also just lack of supports for most parents of young kids especially,” she said.

“I think parents undergo too much judgment, which is actually part of the problem. But it’s important as a parent to have a balance of both kindness and firmness.”

When asked what province is raising their children aged 10 to 21 to be the most resilient and setting them up for the best future successes, those polled said Ontario is doing the best job with 36.5 per cent and B.C. is a distant second with 16.6 per cent of the vote.

Parents and caregivers in Prince Edward Island are doing the worst job, according to the survey.

“There’s debt that comes with every generation and every generation figures out tricks,” Miller said. “And they also have to adapt for the context that they’re in. So, you know, I think there’s there’s lots of creativity that goes on with parents today.”

She said kids also have a tough job.

“They also just aren’t necessarily playing outside as much as they should be or doing as much free play, which we know really helps with child development,” Miller added.

“So they’re trying to navigate really complex systems and worlds and online everything. And it’s usually those basics that help them develop their real sense of self.”

She said she would like to see parents reach out to other parents more and ask for and offer support.

“There are big broad categories of strategies that work or don’t work,” Miller added.

“But I always love the advice of one of my mentors as a parent to read the book of yourself,” she said. “So not to get too fixated on a specific parenting task or trend, and also to just notice your child, have curiosity about who is your child, what are their needs.

“Some kids need a little nudge to explore more and take more risks. Other kids, you need to send way firmer boundaries, otherwise they’re just going to keep getting into trouble.”

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