Lil Nas X said he feels “less fear in my heart” as he got candid about his mental health and bipolar disorder following his arrest last August where he was charged with attacking Los Angeles police officers.
The Old Town Road rapper took to Instagram on Wednesday to share a video that he said felt “awkward” but he still wanted to share an update with his fans.
“I’ve been in rehab for a few months, and since then I’ve been, you know, back at home, whether it’s in Atlanta with my family or in Los Angeles with myself and friends and whatnot, and trying to ground myself down to earth and get out of my head,” Lil Nas X said at the beginning of his video.
“I have a therapist now and a psychiatrist, which has been really helpful. When I got my bipolar disorder diagnosis, I feel like I had known for like the past few years but I didn’t want to admit to it because I didn’t want to have to take medication and, I don’t know, have people think different of me,” he said.
“I’m already like Black and gay, like, damn, God… come on, Black, gay, bipolar. I’m, like, living life on, like, extreme hard mode.”
The 27-year-old rapper, whose real name is Montero Lamar Hill, said he’s “doing much better” and “creating freely” while he stays focused on “smelling the roses.”
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“I’ve been doing music for seven years now. That’s crazy. Speaking of music, I want to let you guys know that there is new music on the way and I’m not getting completely to that just yet but I’m excited to do that,” he shared.
“I’m excited to go on this journey with you guys, this next chapter,” he added. “We’ve been through so much together, like, thank you guys for holding it down, and I love you, and all I want to do is continue to try to make you proud and make myself proud, so let’s go, Dreamboy, let’s go, you.”
Lil Nas X pleaded not guilty in a court appearance last August to three counts of battery with injury on a police officer and one count of resisting an executive officer, the district attorney’s office said.
The charges were far more serious than initial reports had indicated, which suggested he was being investigated for a misdemeanour. If convicted, the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office said he could face up to five years in state prison.
The Los Angeles Police Department said officers found him walking naked on Ventura Boulevard shortly before 6 a.m. local time on Aug. 21.
The department said he charged at the officers when confronted and was arrested. Police suspected a possible overdose and took him to a hospital, where he spent several hours before being taken to jail. He remained behind bars following his arrest.
The criminal complaint filed in court last August includes few details about the incident, but says that for each of the three officers, he “did unlawfully use force and violence and inflict an injury” on a person he “reasonably should have known” was a peace officer “engaged in the performance of a duty.”
After spending three days in jail, Lil Nas X was released on US$75,000 bail, conditional on attending drug treatment.
In April, a judge allowed the 27-year-old to enter a mental health diversion program intended to lead to the charges being dismissed. The musician was eligible for the program because the court found that the encounter involving police was the result of his since-diagnosed bipolar disorder and appeared to be an aberration compared with his usual behaviour.
If Lil Nas X sticks to his treatment program and obeys all laws for two years, the four felony counts against him will be dismissed.
The Atlanta-raised artist is best known for 2018’s country and hip-hop merging Old Town Road, which spent a record 19 weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and won him two Grammys. It is one of the most popular singles of all time, and in 2019 broke the Billboard record set by Mariah Carey’s One Sweet Day for most weeks at No. 1.
Lil Nas X’s first full studio album, 2021’s Montero, went to No. 2 on the Billboard album chart and was nominated for a Grammy for album of the year. Other hits have included Industry Baby and Montero (Call Me by Your Name).
— with files from The Associated Press
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